Wednesday, September 14, 2011

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spiritual spring


Back again. One or two meds causing me problems. Car sickness, light-headedness, and depression. I thought I was going to pass out in Home Depot. I didn't, and I made it back to the car. I stopped the Simvastatin. I won't take a medication that causes that stuff. What kind of life is that? None. I see the doc Friday.
Time to make the donuts, er painting.
Another day, no dollar. It looks like a lovely Saturday to sit in the garden with a book. (I've already fooled around with my Iphone.) I did sit in the garden for more than an hour until it seemed to be starting to rain, then I came in and watched shows about ghosts. Except for one, none of the spirits were related to the folks seeing them. The only spirit I actually saw in the flesh was my neighbor's aunt who I knew pretty well, so she wasn't a stranger. I've had lots of experiences with my family's spirits and those always feel good. Lately the drawers of my desk in here have been closing occasionally, but it doesn't feel scary. I think it's just a family member, if in fact it's not something non-phenomenal, like gravity hitting just once in a while. I hope it's my cousin. He originally threw shoes, closed desk drawers, pulled up shades, and left cigarette smoke, all separately. I was hoping he would blanket me in ciggie smoke on the airplane going out to my brother's the way he did last time, but no, didn't happen.
I try to tell friends when they lose someone close to them to ask that spirit to come talk, let everyone know how they are. Eventually, I was able to do that after I got over the hysterical grieving for my cousin. I knew dying was his choice rather than living through machines or in a nursing home even before he told me.
I know I may look like a wacko saying all this stuff and I hope the folks who have that reaction will not tell me if we're friends. The only experiences I insist were real actually are the ones I experienced while I was awake and alert. Seeing Aunt Millie. Spirits touching me and talking in my ear. For absolutely sure, I know that stuff was real and that tells me there is something going on that we can't see.

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