Where's Lupus? In Hiding

  I've always had mild Lupus.  That meant it was even harder to diagnose than the type that kills.  Doctors didn't want to be bothered, didn't believe it was Lupus, and one even called me names.  (Doctors are no different than the rest of us.(  They're nuts too.)  After a very bad year of Lupus in which I had to retire, we moved down to Delaware to live in a big house with a garden.  (I built the garden in the backyard and planted lots of trees in the front too.)  My Lupus went into remission and I felt good.  

  In 2013,  a family in our development began to bully me.   What they did was crazy and horrible.  I responded negatively, provoking them further, and it took me a long time- years of therapy to push them out of my head. Mostly, Lupus did not rear its head.  I wasn't sure sometimes; so much of that experience was traumatic with threats, theft, police calls, attorneys, name-calling, and lies.  I had never experienced anything like it.  I think those people saw ME as a threat and I became, in their heads, dangerous and famous.  I believe they were enraged and afraid.  I a good person trying to effect the world in positive ways, I never saw myself as they did.  I surrounded my house with trees and tall plants.  Why ever those folks interpreted my behavior as scary, they scared me, and the seemingly most prudent thing was to erect a barrier.

  I wasn't always dedicated to doing right.  I was so angry and that anger isn't completely decimated.  My childhood was torturous, as was my adult years.  When I retired at 58--thanks to Lupus--I was born again.  Not in the religious sense, in the spiritual way.  I have always been an atheist, interested mainly in my family history, not religion.  No religious dogma ever made sense to me.  Long before I retired, I began to be slightly psychic.  At one time, I could read people.  My old next-door neighbor's dead aunt came to visit me, as did a guy from the 1600s.  A spirit followed me home from the hospital and frightened me badly.  My very beloved god brother died and let me know he was still with me.  I began to meditate and listen to psychics on YouTube.  I learned from each of them.  I still do.  My grandmother who passed away six years before I was born is with me now.  I've spent time with most of my aunts and uncles and grandparents.  My great grandpa, who came to the USA in 1853 is my friend.  I'm awed reading what I just typed. 

Life spools on surprising us.  If you're reading this and have any feedback, write to me at painterjayne@gmail.com  I'm interested and lonely.  My favorite people are my children and wonderful granddaughters. I would enjoy a couple more friends.  I have a page on FB about talking to the dead.  Lupus did raid my short-term memory.  I need to remind myself of the name of the page.  Nouns are a problem for me.