FROM 2006 TILL NOW
It's been a very long time since I've posted. In the meantime, we moved to Delaware, were blessed by two granddaughters, and continued to paint and exhibit. My Lupus went into remission except for short term flares related to stress. I had my first and only hospitalization for Lupus and a couple of seizures. These last two years had too much stress. Nobody wanted to hear me complain about the same nonsense over and over. I felt threatened, and until I got help, I was endangering myself.
I don't hate anybody. I've been lucky and I'm very grateful. I had my garage broken into and work stolen, but I've had work stolen before. I think this time someone thought my nudes would be a turn on and was disappointed to learn, they usually funny, not porn. Insurance paid me for them which was nice. I hadn't expected to sell so many.
For a few years, there has been a piece of life that was difficult and uncomfortable. I always avoid people who want to fight, but at the same time, I fight with anyone who wants to take advantage of me. I never understood why the people who were doing that thought it was right and an argument blossomed into a feud. I should have realized. I worked with people who reported colleagues, who would sue when their desires weren't honored. One woman would freak if another person's holiday decorations got on her cubicle wall by accident. I'm grateful I never heard from her after I retired. I worked with some exceptional people. One of my favorites was a WWII war hero. We used to talk old movies and did projects together. It was a political department, and not every person was terrific. We had all sorts of drama, a lot of which was funny. Every week, my cousin Jerry took the train into my Center City Philly office, and met me for lunch.
In 06, we lost Jerry, who I adored my whole life. He was the older brother who held my hand and walked me to kindergarten. He taught me to play chess and was my confidant. I'd give all my work to have him back for a day. When we lose people we love, life changes. I've lost three best friends over these years. I would never have guessed. It's lonely without them. That doesn't mean I'm desperate for friends. I'm picky. Too many people take no responsibility for their behavior. They believe they're victims. Not for me. Lots of people have no introspection. Also not for me. I'm working to get my head in gear now, my last chance before I kick the bucket.
Recently, someone I hardly know said she liked my stories. I was stymied. I never told her any stories. Then, I realized she must have read them here. She might see herself in what I say, but I hope she understands, if she reads this, that she is mistaken believing I would want to hurt her. Or that I think she's stupid, or ignorant, etc. I've had friends who had intellectual disabilities. It's what is in a person's heart, and their character, not their brains, that makes them attractive. I'm not brilliant, but yes, I do love to talk with somebody smarter. If that person is a snob, they can keep the talk. I'm not interested.
Something weird happened too. I've never had anyone previously say they were in my paintings. That happened last year. One painting I did for therapy~yes, I do that~turned out to look like every person who looked a certain way. Luckily, only one person complained. I never showed those paintings except to other artists on the internet. If I'd been asked, I would have taken them offline, which I did later when I found out how upset they were. Using Art as therapy can be helpful. I usually draw what troubles me but I've been working and exhibiting with a group of other Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts graduates and their work has inspired me. They are such talented artists, I'm so grateful to have them as friends. I draw with them regularly in addition to drawing around here.
I'm hoping to host a couple of the other artists this spring. I'd like to share my garden with them. I planted a garden in our Delaware house. It's a lovely place to meditate or work. We Lupies need our calm. I highly recommend spending time in the trees among plants. If it's feasible, it helps to see a therapist so we can decrease stress. Stress brings on all the autoimmune diseases. Talking with a therapist isn't weakness, it's sensible because we have a death~dealing illness, and as a bonus, we get greater awareness.
I'll try to write more and not allow years to go by again. Thank you for reading this. Feel free to write to me at painterjayne@gmail.com
I don't hate anybody. I've been lucky and I'm very grateful. I had my garage broken into and work stolen, but I've had work stolen before. I think this time someone thought my nudes would be a turn on and was disappointed to learn, they usually funny, not porn. Insurance paid me for them which was nice. I hadn't expected to sell so many.
For a few years, there has been a piece of life that was difficult and uncomfortable. I always avoid people who want to fight, but at the same time, I fight with anyone who wants to take advantage of me. I never understood why the people who were doing that thought it was right and an argument blossomed into a feud. I should have realized. I worked with people who reported colleagues, who would sue when their desires weren't honored. One woman would freak if another person's holiday decorations got on her cubicle wall by accident. I'm grateful I never heard from her after I retired. I worked with some exceptional people. One of my favorites was a WWII war hero. We used to talk old movies and did projects together. It was a political department, and not every person was terrific. We had all sorts of drama, a lot of which was funny. Every week, my cousin Jerry took the train into my Center City Philly office, and met me for lunch.
In 06, we lost Jerry, who I adored my whole life. He was the older brother who held my hand and walked me to kindergarten. He taught me to play chess and was my confidant. I'd give all my work to have him back for a day. When we lose people we love, life changes. I've lost three best friends over these years. I would never have guessed. It's lonely without them. That doesn't mean I'm desperate for friends. I'm picky. Too many people take no responsibility for their behavior. They believe they're victims. Not for me. Lots of people have no introspection. Also not for me. I'm working to get my head in gear now, my last chance before I kick the bucket.
Recently, someone I hardly know said she liked my stories. I was stymied. I never told her any stories. Then, I realized she must have read them here. She might see herself in what I say, but I hope she understands, if she reads this, that she is mistaken believing I would want to hurt her. Or that I think she's stupid, or ignorant, etc. I've had friends who had intellectual disabilities. It's what is in a person's heart, and their character, not their brains, that makes them attractive. I'm not brilliant, but yes, I do love to talk with somebody smarter. If that person is a snob, they can keep the talk. I'm not interested.
Something weird happened too. I've never had anyone previously say they were in my paintings. That happened last year. One painting I did for therapy~yes, I do that~turned out to look like every person who looked a certain way. Luckily, only one person complained. I never showed those paintings except to other artists on the internet. If I'd been asked, I would have taken them offline, which I did later when I found out how upset they were. Using Art as therapy can be helpful. I usually draw what troubles me but I've been working and exhibiting with a group of other Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts graduates and their work has inspired me. They are such talented artists, I'm so grateful to have them as friends. I draw with them regularly in addition to drawing around here.
I'm hoping to host a couple of the other artists this spring. I'd like to share my garden with them. I planted a garden in our Delaware house. It's a lovely place to meditate or work. We Lupies need our calm. I highly recommend spending time in the trees among plants. If it's feasible, it helps to see a therapist so we can decrease stress. Stress brings on all the autoimmune diseases. Talking with a therapist isn't weakness, it's sensible because we have a death~dealing illness, and as a bonus, we get greater awareness.
I'll try to write more and not allow years to go by again. Thank you for reading this. Feel free to write to me at painterjayne@gmail.com
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