Sunday, January 08, 2006

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Spirits Visit When You Eat, So Manga!

Too many cookies...ugh...My name should have been cookie. A cookie isn't an evil piece of food; I just don't know when to stop. I "affirm" every day that I will eat only when I'm hungry and stop as soon as I get "The Signal". I also say I avoid foods with sugar and white flour. I observe those rules until I hit the kitchen. I am grateful that I actually do feel a signal so that I start the process of putting down the fork. Harry's a good cook quickly getting better, which isn't what I need, but it's nice anyway. He cooked all day today making Lebanese Soup. It is a beautiful soup but I couldn't eat it; it smelled like lamb, but not like lamb chops and turned my stomach. I felt sad because Harry worked so long and hard. Tomorrow, he's taking a break because Honey's coming up to work with me making some exotic Tofu dish. I can't stand Tofu and Harry won't eat it, but I can swallow it and I will for Honey's sake. It's not like lamb. And the sauces tomorrow include coconut and peanut butter two of my favorite things, so most likely I'll happily overfeed myself for a change.
This morning, the smell of cookies woke me. It was actually Harry's marvelous French Toast. They're legendary with me.
Our son has begun to cook too; he made chocolate mousse yesterday and made an unusual Caesar-type salad for Thanksgiving. Brian is built like me so I hope he can contain his cooking interests without blimping.
I've just eaten a banana and it's past 11:30 PM. Some people just can't control themselves. I was hungry sitting there holding and petting the kitten, watching Law & Order and after such a long hiatus, finally sensing the spirits again. After a couple of years, I've been able to stop one of my drugs that might have been blocking my ability. Last night, I was able to sense my father and my "old" family from the 1800s. (I feel as though I know them from past encounters.) And I sensed Harry's "guys" again. I used to be able to tell people about the spirits around them and then, suddenly, I couldn't. So maybe the Namenda was the culprit. Actually, they visit often when their family is having a meal, especially a family celebration. There's a heaviness in the atmosphere, and if I pay attention, I can start picking out attributes or people and activities. I really missed being able to see spirits. I've been a little scared at times, including when my next-door neighbor's dead aunt visited more or less in the flesh, but I get excited too. I waved her in and kept saying, "Stay, stay!, despite my knocking knees.
I don't think it was just the cookies tonight. Nope, I think my great-grandparents, my great aunt and uncle are here in this room with me now watching me type on the computer. They like the modern machines. Either they're here or my brain's not.



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