Friday, June 02, 2006

2 Want to Comment?

Suburbanites

I've been left out of the Sunday group I used to attend. Do I want to see those people? Some, never, others, maybe when I see them. They were the remnants of the mostly young surfacey D/s group who used to pose for me. My ideas were always different; none of them are liberal and I argued with them. I liked a few but I was left out from the beginning because I didn't fit. I was older with what I think is a more mature attitude and I just couldn't be a pretend sadist. Maybe it's just that I've always been different. Shy, bossy, ambitious, quiet, smart, dopey, and introspective.
Years ago, a sharp friend told Harry and I we were "kooks." Yeah, we are. Just having two kids eighteen years apart proves it. We're too intense, too serious for lighthearted fun a lot of the time.
I don't guess anyone can have everything. I do have good friends who I wish I saw much more often. I'm too lazy and involved with Harry. I just keep doing what I do which now is packing. I wish I were not so creeped out by a person (in a room of say, of forty people,) ignoring me. I think it's because that person is being fawned over by the majority or all the people there. I call that guy "The Italian Guy" because he literally comes from Italy, has a heavy accent and the belief that only men are special. Maybe I couldn't bear not to be the special one, although I don't think that was it. I couldn't have made nice to that guy if I were paid to do it.
So now I see the dynamics because I'm writing about it. Most of those folks were very nice to me. They liked my artwork and posed for free. They were friendly and generous. The only thing I could ever hold against them is their "voting" for the tall, skinny nasty man and maybe "W" too. And definitely their suburban attitudes. (I hope when I move to Delaware, it won't be a sea of isolated suburban bullshit.) I know it would be more suitable to move to Glenside or somewhere artsy but I don't have the money. It takes lots of cash to look and live like a liberal, artsy person. So I'll wallow in suburban muddy waters, treading water and staying in the house.
Pictures won't come out today. I hope they work soon.

2 Comments:

Blogger cara winsor hehir said...

i understand how you feel. i too feel i am often surrounded by twits. and that i am discounted for my beliefs. appearance, and kooky behaviors. i have a very bitter, i hate everyone attitude, but with good humour. i've come to believe that i am wiser than most people and this is why i don't mix well.
or maybe it's just the doobies...

5:56 PM  
Blogger painterjayne said...

Cara, I know exactly what you mean too. No, I don't usually mix well either. Sometimes I surprise myself because I'm talking with the right person at the right time, but I think our kind of people are rare and that's the truth. Some philosopher said the unexamined life isn't worth living. I don't think that's true, but I like living the examined one. However, you said it right about being discounted for your beliefs. Me too.

3:17 PM  

2 Comments:

i understand how you feel. i too feel i am often surrounded by twits. and that i am discounted for my beliefs. appearance, and kooky behaviors. i have a very bitter, i hate everyone attitude, but with good humour. i've come to believe that i am wiser than most people and this is why i don't mix well.
or maybe it's just the doobies...

By Blogger cara winsor hehir, at 5:56 PM  

Cara, I know exactly what you mean too. No, I don't usually mix well either. Sometimes I surprise myself because I'm talking with the right person at the right time, but I think our kind of people are rare and that's the truth. Some philosopher said the unexamined life isn't worth living. I don't think that's true, but I like living the examined one. However, you said it right about being discounted for your beliefs. Me too.

By Blogger painterjayne, at 3:17 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home