Thursday, April 03, 2008

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Little Note on Ethnic & Racial Distrust

Not doing anything right now. Too tired to paint a frame. I think the abstract I’ve been working on is finished. I’m working on two others too. I had wanted to sell the landscape. I’d been offered money for it, but it wasn’t enough. Hopefully, later that will show up. My landscape page--at = is messed up and I guess I’ll fix it when I get off here. My website is old and I don’t update it often enough. I’ve sold work--a lot of work--from it, but what I like to do is paint and in the evening, watch movies. When I used to have a job (three days a week), I worked on that site and talked on line all the time. I guess I was starved for normal human contact. I worked in Civil Service with mostly South Philly politicians. Nuff said. I loved their spirit, but they thought I was from Pluto. After all, I’d gone to college and I was an artist, no less. I wore flip-flops during the day, my God! (My feet always hurt.) I had Lupus too and everyone knows anybody who can walk is not too sick to work like everybody else. Lupus had to be a put-on. Of course, they knew everything and there was no arguing. I still got a kick out of them. The only people who talked to me like another human being though, were my African-American colleagues. They were my favorites.
Actually, switching the subject a little, one of my co-workers passed away shortly after she retired. I’ll call her Brenida. I liked and had great respect for her. I’m somewhat psychic. Brenida kept appearing in my dreams. I was happy to see her, but something was wrong. I could see she didn’t really trust me. She was there for a purpose. When she showed me a picture of her husband, which looked like the young boy murdered down south for whistling at a white woman, I realized why she was contacting me. I called her girlfriend from work and told her Brenida was popping up in my dreams and I thought maybe Brenida wanted me to tell her she was okay. After that, Brenida never appeared again. I believe she had overwhelming dislike for people my color, and she had every right to feel that way, but I truly liked her, and I was sorry. I wanted her to be my friend and come visit. I wanted to know what Brenida thought and felt.
Thinking about Brenida, and then Obama, I believe people of my light color do not appreciate the resentment darker people feel. We don’t notice the little (and big) slights they receive. The fella I hope will be my son-in-law is of Mexican heritage. In the Southwest, he grew up feeling prejudice. One of my friends visited the other day and complained of the same weird responses sometimes. She’s of Filipino heritage (and beautiful). She thought it was her big breasts. Who knows? Surely not me. I know I got plenty of prejudice at work for being Jewish. A lot of people accepted me once they knew I didn’t fit the stereotype, but I was physically assaulted by another worker because of it. Most of the world is anti-semitic, especially with Israel being strong and fighting the Arabs. Of course, it’s not me. I think even the Israeli’s don’t know what to do, and I’m an American. Not that I don’t care about Israel. I read history. Ain’t too many countries who would take me and mine if this country gets totally crazy. You don’t think that could happen? Look at W and all he’s done and not done. One horrible strike and we’d be in the Dark Ages.
Well, that’s enough for me.
xoxo Painterjayne
7:45 PM -




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