Sunday, October 09, 2005

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Reformatting and memories of Jeanette..and tears


I'm getting used to reformatting my harddrive and putting back files. My artwork is really messed up on here, but well, maybe at the next reformatting, I'll get it better together. I might be able to work it out better if this will stay okay for a while. Either it's Windows XP or my sony computer that stinks. The last computer, a Gateway, came totally screwed up. It sounded like a washing machine and worked with files as well as a washing machine would. Two or three monitors later, a new tower hard fought for, and another hard drive, the thing still works about seven years later. Husband Harry now has and loves it to pieces in my studio. It's his Google machine. He doesn't do email, he looks stuff up. Whatever rows your boat, right?
It's great sitting here listening to Bush. I put in CDs I had in the drawer. The computer wouldn't recognize the CD my son Brian made for me five years ago, but I bet he can put it in WEdnesday when he's here. When I finally get to where I worked (before I started THE GOOD LIFE OF ART (& RETIREMENT), I'll pick up the CDs I used to listen to and love. Plus, I think Brian can get my music from Harry's computer which will be a total joy. Assuming it's still there, but I bet it is. I love Gospel and all kinds of stuff. Since it looks as though I can't get Kazaa anymore, I noticed I can buy CDs for about ten bucks. So maybe, I'll buy a few things. I think I might have accidentally thrown out a big bag of CDs I moved out of the way last Sunday when the sofa was being moved. I have no memory of anything I move around and I've lost jewelry and all kinds of stuff. But I know these CDs were music I didn't like because I'm sure I'd gone through them before and pulled out anything I thought would be good and taken it to work. Where I tested it all on their computer, which is the sensible thing to do, right?
That was all stuff left by Brian's old girlfriend from when she lived here. She left everything including tons of clothes, her art supplies, her CD player. Everything. Then later she tried to commit suicide and I was the person whose number she had in her pocket. It broke my heart and it'll stay broken because she was a wonderfully talented young woman whose family so screwed her up, she's staying broken never to achieve what she wanted. She's disappeared between Reagan's cracks now. I can't even get her phone number. I'll try to put up her picture on here. She was one of my cases where I wanted to do more than I was capable of. I take on too much. Hope for too much and then I can't do it. This wasn't what I meant to write.

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