ACADEMY ARTISTS KILL KIDS TO DO THEIR PORTRAITS

Depression raises its ugly head. I had an appointment with the Physician's Asst. for my rheumatologist and the neuropsychologist from Jeff called her back with a thumbnail sketch of my evaluation. Apparently, he said I was completely normal cognitively and my memory problems and such were because I'm a nervous wreck. The P.A. thought that was dandy. I didn't. Four years ago that same neuropsych dept. told me I had some kind of dementia and my tests were pretty awful. Now, when I literally can't remember faces for five minutes, and my memory is shot full of holes, I'm fine. If the report is inane and my doctors take it seriously, I'll dump them. But they won't; I believe I have good docs now who know me and can make their own evaluation.
However, the P.A. is a terrific lady but I can't stand to see her as a medical person. She was the person who wanted to send me home in a suicidal depression and today she told me my flares were not related to lupus. She can argue with my neurologist, who says they are. I believe they're a remnant of the damage done by lupus.
I'm just raging and depressed because I guess I feel somehow misjudged. Not only that, I can't stop the underlining. When I feel I can't control every area of my life, I get depressed.
I guess I'll just have to go kill a kid so I can do his portrait. lol