Falling for Lupus

Harry is honoring me today, using this article in his weekly column for SCOOP, USA. That's a small Philly weekly free paper; he's been writing for them for twenty-five years and hasn't missed a week. Well, in a way he has because when he wants a break he asks me to write. Until recently, I wrote mostly about Lupus feeling I was doing a service. My case is relatively rare and difficult to diagnose. Because of that, I needed to do most of the research myself and go through a lot of doctors before I was finally given respect and a diagnosis. So I shared my knowledge with Harry's readers because most people don't want to spend hours in libraries and on the computer wading through medical journals.
For the last few years especially this last year after I retired, I've felt better than ever. Stress impacts severely on all autoimmune diseases and that includes Lupus; Diabetes; Multiple Sclerosis; and "events" like heart attacks and strokes. Once I recovered from my last horrible flare, I didn't really care what mistakes the doctors wrote as long as I felt okay. But today I fell again. Before I applied to retire, my balance had gotten so bad I was using a cane, (which was like a third leg and just as annoying,) and going for physical therapy. I couldn't afford to keep going to P.T. so I continued to do at least two of the exercises at home. I don't follow through or exercise either so some of this falling is my own fault.
Once my balance is compromised, and just walking through narrow spaces will do it, I often fall. Not every time, but too often to feel safe. Today I fell walking into my studio. I took with me the whole implement side of my drawing desk and most everything on my little extra table. I haven't picked anything up yet and I must because my cats like to eat my sable brushes. Still, it's my second fall in two months. My arm now has a long red cut from above my elbow to my wrist. I can kid and say it accessorizes the giant black and blue mark and lump on the backside of my arm and the few on my upper arm. I'm really a mass of bruises. Somehow my arms swing into things and I also miss the item I'm aiming for. Uh oh! There goes another spot. My whole body is polka-dotted.
I didn't know if the ease of bruises would cut down as I decreased my steroids but I hoped it would. Instead, it's stayed the same but my funny head stuff increased. People with Neuropsych Lupus would probably understand. We get migraines and strange head feelings of many varieties. It's just a shame it's not just ice cream. That would be nice except of course my weight is horrible so ice cream wouldn't be an improvement. Lupus is just no fun and neither is the frailty that comes with any disease or just aging. It's no joke that illness and aging are only for the brave.