Wednesday, June 14, 2006

2 Want to Comment?

MONEY MONEY MONEY

It's taken me hours of work over a number of days but I finally repaired my Page 1 on my website. I finished my front page a couple of weeks ago. After Tripod threw off their pieces of my website because of the nudes I assume, I had to redo all the links etc. I wanted to change a lot of the pictures--cut the pages down again. I had intended to make the pages shorter but I think I'm ending up making them longer.
Most of my days recently have been devoted to getting the house ready for sale. I think I've finished packing everything laying around and the house looks bare enough but it's not very clean. The downstairs is probably as good as it's going to get, and I have yet to do the upstairs. The basement is okay. I'm waiting for an estimate for painting the downstairs. I'd like to have it done but I can't afford much now. We spent so much; we've basically run out. Time to move on.
Speaking of moving, my brother will be here tomorrow from LA. He's coming in for our son's college graduation. We've been paying for our son's education from the time he was one, I think. So, finally, we're finished.
I'm writing all about money. I don't like that; don't want to do it. Our third Epson Photo whatever went bad today. I can't believe it. It's under warranty so they'll send us another one and we'll send this third one back to them. I hope this is the last one.
That's really all I feel like saying. Oh, I'm going to have to stop seeing my old (very good) therapist. I've been seeing her about once a month since I had that horrible experience with depression when I cut my prednisone too fast. She's too expensive though. More money stuff. My insurance doesn't cover her and besides being a raging maniac inside (from childhood issues of course) I'm fine. I'm not that ragey I guess. I've seen way worse. There are things--experiences--I can't ace. Things I'd like to be able to do, but I can't. There aren't many and even though I'd like them fixed, I don't think it's going to happen. I do believe people can change if they have the determination and ability. I used to and I did. I pray I never go through what I did last year though. My therapist is getting way old and I'm terrified I'd be lost without her if that happened again. She understood and didn't try to give me impossible advice but she did help me through it. It's just that I freaked out when I got that horribly depressed. I don't think I'd be calm if that or anything else bad happened. I was hysterical last year. I think I had a nervous breakdown out of terror.
I just noticed it's late. Gotta get to bed. Note: This thing will not pick up pictures.

2 Comments:

Blogger cara winsor hehir said...

every time i read your blog i feel that you and i are running similar courses. i to go through bouts of hysteria and take a very high dosage of effexor to help keep me stable (it got upped again this week). i'm happy i've found you!
i love the painting of the vacumning lady with the stars on her nipples. the colour, the humour, the honesty. i wish we could have a joint exhibit some day!

7:53 AM  
Blogger painterjayne said...

Thanks Cara. I just put up four of our "nuclear" family cats. Maybe this is the way the blogspot goes; I have to put the pics on before I write. Anyway, I'm a nutty animal person probably as much as a nutty artist or whatever.
I used to take Effexor and coming off it is what put me in a flare last year. It takes weeks or months to leave your system and apparently, when it does, it gives your--or actually my--body a jolt. Whatever works though is the ticket. I'm on three anti-depressants now and will be decreasing to two someday, but meanwhile, I feel like myself and the best I can say is I'm not unhappy. I think that's really all we get anyway.
I wish I could see your artwork.

12:14 AM  

2 Comments:

every time i read your blog i feel that you and i are running similar courses. i to go through bouts of hysteria and take a very high dosage of effexor to help keep me stable (it got upped again this week). i'm happy i've found you!
i love the painting of the vacumning lady with the stars on her nipples. the colour, the humour, the honesty. i wish we could have a joint exhibit some day!

By Blogger cara winsor hehir, at 7:53 AM  

Thanks Cara. I just put up four of our "nuclear" family cats. Maybe this is the way the blogspot goes; I have to put the pics on before I write. Anyway, I'm a nutty animal person probably as much as a nutty artist or whatever.
I used to take Effexor and coming off it is what put me in a flare last year. It takes weeks or months to leave your system and apparently, when it does, it gives your--or actually my--body a jolt. Whatever works though is the ticket. I'm on three anti-depressants now and will be decreasing to two someday, but meanwhile, I feel like myself and the best I can say is I'm not unhappy. I think that's really all we get anyway.
I wish I could see your artwork.

By Blogger painterjayne, at 12:14 AM  

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