Sunday, December 31, 2006

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I HATE EXPLORER 07 & VIOLENCE

Today is New Year's Eve. Harry made lobster and the whole deal. Our daughter slept over last night and she'll be going home today for parties in Philly. We went tax-free shopping this afternoon. I'm pretty tired but I do have things I'd still like to accomplish.
To my surprise, Jerry is doing great. He's probably cured and almost ready to return home. His house was burglarized Friday but nothing was taken. Whatever the thief was looking for, it wasn't there. Jerry's been busy alienating me and my daughter. I can't bear to talk with him; he's dismissive and disrespectful. Not a great combination.
For the last two weeks, I spent the work week at my daughter's in South Philly so that I could visit Jerry in the hospital. I know it was more comfortable for him to have me there, but his comfort never translated into treating me nicely. Life is complicated sometimes.
I went through a flare of my lupus, which now is fine. I wondered what would happen to me in Jerry's circumstances. Would the hospital monitor my response to the stress? Would they medicate me if lupus acted up? I suspect not because nausea and dizziness are of little concern to them. It's the strokes and visible inflammation they worry about. I'm hoping to titrate my prednisone further, hopefully to discontinue it. I came down from twenty mgs. quickly, so maybe I can do it. I'm afraid of what could happen if I don't.
2007? I'm fifty-nine years old. I feel about forty-nine, but even fifty-nine doesn't seem too old. When I was a kid, this century seemed to loom ahead but never to happen. And then it did! Surprise! I thought I'd be old and decriped, or maybe dead by now. 2007 was unimaginable.
Uh oh, It's 2007, midnight has passed. And I definitely like Explorer 06 better than 07. Where is my filler? What happened to stuff that used to be on top? And why did they kill Saddam? Wasn't that a bad idea? But then again, Nixon died a free man and I'd bet W and his minions will too. I don't believe there's a hell, but if there were, I'd like to think people like them go there. I think of the immeasurable cruelty in this world and find it hard to believe I can be concerned over problems of such little importance like Explorer. I know it's all relative. Lupus compared to W sending thousands of kids to risk their lives and die for cheap oil or personal revenge. Saddam murdering thousands including children. Oh, and since the world is somewhat funky, and down here in absolute suburbia, not perfectly pro-Israel, I'm for Israel. Just a note. I can complain about Saddam, W, Cheney, and this guy Gene who I used to work for, and I'm a liberal, but I'm for self-preservation, which means I'm for Israel.
I read a review of a bio of Nadine Gortimer today and the author accused her of hypocracy since she worked hard against apartheid--she's South African--but she isn't 100% for the idiotic government there now. Gee, she's gotten old and she's not demented yet. Comparing myself to Gortimer, a renowned author and a Jew, I was assailed by an angry black woman at my work a long time ago. How could I be a liberal and be obnoxious? The Jewish liberality is suspect today. I think people of color are disappointed we are not still marching. But some of us are. We haven't forgotten our folks were thrown into the ovens and would be still by those wonderful palestinians and arabs. The outcast arabs may be the underdogs today but that's only because the Israeli army doesn't stand for any shit. So I'm a liberal, still against the power players of this world and appalled at the hate here that allows Americans to drown because they're poor and black, and people including children to be hacked to death in Durfur. Lupus is a little problem compared to being sent to my death by W, or chased down by arab horsemen to ethnically cleanse Durfur.
Son of a Bitch! I can't correct my spelling! Damn!

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