Tuesday, August 22, 2006

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They're Murdering Children While I Pack


Gee, I'm even fatter than in that picture! I'm growing out of my clothes..again! My stretchy cotton knit shorts are the tightest I would wear them. I keep eating though, ignoring what I resolved in the morning after I weighed myself. By the night time when I'm tired, I'm ready to eat whatever is handy and my weight keeps climbing. It isn't as though I'm eating so much more. I have to cut out desserts--will I?--noooooooo. I need to eat only very carefully in the evening or not at all. Will I remember? I don't know. And I have to stop eating right away when I feel I've had enough. Is that easy? It's one of the most difficult things I've ever failed at. And every day after dinner, I feel guilty, and later, before I go to bed, guiltier.
I'm still packing only now, I'm getting down to the nitty gritty. Or so I think. We went to my mother in law's apartment today to help her and she wants to give up her cat. Unless her other son wants him, Pumpkin has to come to us. Not only does he have thyroid and chronic ear infection problems, but he's a very lovable one-cat-household-only cat. He's pushy and rough to his fellow felines. He's beautiful, but that doesn't count. He's lived all his inside life with one older woman and I guess he isn't about to accept a brother and sister. Not if he can help it.
And I still haven't gotten the information for Betty and Evangeline. I called Africa this morning and couldn't get through. Then I forgot. I'll try tomorrow morning. So far, it looks as though Evangeline is telling the truth. And Buduburam Camp is a horrible place. Who could blame her for exaggerating, if she is. There is so much worse going on in the world. And way too many orphan or needy children for a world where we can conquer aids and build smart bombs. We are mad chimpanzees massacreing children and their parents, tearing them into pieces with machetes or blowing their brains out with rifles. And if we're not working to stop the murdering, we are supporting the genocide. We can ignore it, move away as I'm doing, and stay in the house as I plan to do. But that doesn't absolve me. I live in a peaceful little world only because others died to make it so. That includes the slaves who built this truly great nation and the Arab oil barons who, with our money, supply the guns to the rebels. The Jinjaweed chase down children and kill them with the money we spend at the gas pumps. It's that simple and that horrible.
Now back to packing because life goes on even when people are dying for no other reason than having been born. I just found a closet half-full of paper. I guess it's good I found it now.

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