Sunday, October 29, 2006

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My Mother Dresses Me Funny (That's my story & I'm sticking to it.)












That's how I feel--I'm fighting off a cold, apparently not very well. I've been lupusey all week; I think from the stress with the workmen in the house all the time and the house being disrupted. It's scary for me--someone with balance problems--to climb and descend steps covered by tarps. I worry about our kittens, both of whom have gotten outside. Moon, our hunter, zipped through an open vent, through the crawl space under the house to the world outside and didn't want to come back inside. Autumn, our timid little girl, escaped outside when the workmen were coming her way. She was terrified and not ready to travel.
The kittens were locked away last night on our neighborhood Halloween. Some of the neighbors with small children sent around a flyer setting up Halloween for last night so their children didn't have to be out late on a work and school night. We'll still have the regular Halloween for the teenagers. Our son and his girlfriend came over last night to give out candy and enjoy the holiday. Our son noticed the work done on one hallway wasn't good. That's all I need: to have more work done over and spend more money. We're spent out now. The house painting cost a mint and there are so many more things wrong. Keep looking and you just keep seeing more. Nevertheless, I love living here. I love the house; I enjoy it. The neighbors are friendly too; it's a little community, like a tiny town.
I hope the people here don't reject me as they did at my work. Well, they didn't totally reject me, they just never let me in. I didn't really want "in"; I couldn't help it and neither could they. I couldn't loosen up and if I had, I think I might have been judgemental about them and their attitudes. I didn't fit in and my ideas were too radical. Plus they didn't trust a Jewish woman who was educated and liberal. They had all kinds of crazy ideas about me. If folks here are prejudiced too, it will hurt. Reading the newspaper and questioning accepted ideas gets me into trouble.
A woman stood in the aisle near me in K-Mart today. She openly stared at me as though I was dressed in my underwear for what felt like a long time. She wasn't admiring me. I had on one of my funny cute 90's jumpers and footless tights, so I might have looked odd. Nobody wears that stuff here. I wouldn't have wanted to hear her thoughts unless she was actually trying to hold back gas. Sometimes it feels awkward to be me.
Today was our neighborhood Halloween tonight and we all enjoyed it. We had more kids here than ever on Langdon Street. Every time kids came to the door our son, his girlfriend, my husband and me all crowded around at the door. We'll do it again Tuesday on the real Halloween if anybody comes. And maybe I'll wear another 90's jumper. It's a shame I didn't buy striped tights

Saturday, October 28, 2006

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My Mother Dresses Me Funny (That's my story & I'm sticking to it.)


Those dancers look like they're dead and that's how I feel. I'm fighting off a cold, apparently not very well. I've been lupusey all week, I think from all the stress with the workmen in the house all the time and the house being disrupted.
My son noticed the work done on one hallway wasn't good. That's all I need: to have to have more work done over and spend more money. We're spent out now. The house painting cost a mint. Everything cost a mint and there are so many more things wrong. Keep looking and you just keep seeing more. Nevertheless, I love living here. I love the house. I enjoy it. The neighbors are friendly too; it's a little community, like a tiny town. I hope the people here don't reject me as they did at my work. Well, they didn't totally reject me, they just never let me in. I didn't really want "in"; I couldn't help it and neither could they. I couldn't loosen up and if I had, I think I might have been judgemental about them and their attitudes. I didn't fit in and my ideas were too radical. Plus they didn't trust a Jewish woman who was educated and liberal. They didn't trust me and they had all kinds of crazy ideas about me. But I am a liberal educated Jewish woman and if these folks here are prejudiced too, it will hurt. Reading the newspaper and questioning accepted ideas gets me into trouble.
A woman stood in the aisle with me in K-Mart today. She openly stared at me as though I was dressed in my underwear for what felt like a long time. She wasn't admiring me. I had on one of my funny cute 90's jumpers and tights, so I might have looked odd. Nobody wears that stuff here. I wouldn't have wanted to hear her thoughts unless she was actually trying to hold back gas.
Today was our neighborhood Halloween tonight and we all enjoyed it. We had more kids here than ever on Langdon Street. Every time kids came to the door our son, his girlfriend, my husband and me all crowded around at the door. We'll do it again Tuesday on the real Halloween if anybody comes. And maybe I'll wear another 90's jumper. It's a shame I didn't buy striped tights.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

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Auntie Em For Sale


I'm putting off working, sitting here daydreaming about candy and cookies. We're paying to have the living and dining rooms painted but I have to paint the upstairs bathroom and my room. And I'm not. I'm just sitting here. My plan is to start taking my artwork out of the boxes in the family room and begin hanging them. We found life in suburbia is expensive; it's better, but it costs more. Especially when the person preceeding you in the house didn't keep up with the maintenance.
My personal money is down and since this house is something of a money pit, I'm intending to start doing pen and ink erotic drawings to sell on Ebay again. I don't want to hit the family money for little things. This time I'm going to limit them to just pen and ink though and get the mattes from one of the craft retailers instead of cutting them myself. This will be strictly for income, if they'll sell. I guess if they don't, I'll have to figure something else.
I can't even find Aunt Em on there. Ugh.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

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The Fat Lady Sings (Unintelligibly)


Worries about money. Workmen not showing up. Key-Kae doing lousy work and then leaving it half done for us to finish. Still not light enough and I have to paint after all. Ugh. Do I love this house? Let me count the ways.
Going to bed later...after The Colbert Report, my favorite show..Usually.
I dance now and like it. So I'm exercising. My weight is horrendous but I'm back at OA after fifteen years. I do one thing for three years. It's forever. And then I just stop. Good bye. I'm gone. I wish I kept up till I decided to stop.
Biting my nails; nervous. Times are nerve-racking. Money out and out and out. Depressed? Nothing is perfect but can't expect that. Back selling artwork on Ebay. Want to make some money & I have the work. Gonna do work just for there too.
oops. Time for bath. Nighty night.

Monday, October 09, 2006

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Goodbye Langdon Street


Blackie, the Black Lab/Pit Bull mix looks for me. Where are the boxes with the meat and the dog biscuits. They're in my new house, Blackie. Where are you, food lady? I'm faraway baby and I miss you. Why did you leave me? Was I a bad dog? No baby, you are a best dog, a special dog, and I wish you could have come with me. You would have chased and maybe hurt Autumn and Moon, and dug holes in my yard. Then you would have jumped my fence and run around the neighborhood. Trashcans would never be the same and neither would the house. The little hole you made to stick your head out of your doorway would have repeated itself on my screen door. And you belong to someone else. Everybody loves you Blackie. I still love you and all the people who pat you everyday do too. You'll always be in my heart sweetie pie. Even if you really have no idea who I was and that I've gone.
My Japanese Maple stands serene; it knows it's the queen of the lawn. In the Spring, she is glorious. No other tree can challenge her beauty and they don't try. The street is concrete and plain cement. None of the other lawns can compare with the loveliness she gives.
Only Blackie knows I've gone. Maybe the ivy I planted will look for my presence and admiration. I don't miss Langdon Street. There were too many steps and I was too far away from our children. I always yearned for more trees and grass. A single home in the country. Somehow, Harry and I are living in our dream house and it feels like a minor miracle.

Monday, October 02, 2006

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THE DIRT SAYS, "Hi!"


I hope nobody takes offense at the painting. I'm thinking about cleaning the new house and that's the only painting I've ever done about the disgusting subject. Cleaning in the painting looks a lot more fun than I've ever thought it was. And this place is big. Really big. I fell in love with my paradise without noticing it had three floors and no rugs. Rugs are good because you don't see the dirt. You can't miss the dirt now. It screams, "Look at me! Hi! Don't step on me, I'm the house dirt!" Or something. Moon and Autumn, my wonderful kittens are spreading the love around in the form of their leftover fur. The boxes, tools, pillows, and not-put-together lamps don't help.
I looked up Roombas on the web last night and people recommended them. I wish there were more robotic stuff. Dusters for instance. I don't want to be bothered with housework. Ever. I happily do the dishes because Harry cooks and I can't stand to have dishes in the sink. Actually, I can't stand dirt and stuff laying around. I do love the house and the three floors are easily navigated since it's a split level house. The room sizes aren't much more than the row house, but there are two more rooms and one is very large. Well, as soon as the boxes are torn apart or stored, the lights are up, and all the detritus is put wherever it goes, the roomba will be on my shopping list.
Tomorrow is Yom Kippor, the most holy day of the year for Jews. It's a day of atonement and I won't be cleaning the floors. Or painting the door. Our children are coming to have dinner with us. I had wanted to attend services--they're free here--but my son told me they're all day and incredibly boring. I let it go. It is a new year in a new house.