Shoes!

 A growth was discovered on my husband's kidney that turned out to be cancerous.  A Jefferson surgeon removed the cancer and the kidney.  It's been four months and he's still recovering.  The nursing home rehabilitation almost killed him.  Our daughter, the nurse/teacher, saved his life.  Nursing Homes could more accurately be called storage facilities.  But that's not today's story.

  While Harry was being tortured in the hospital and rehab, I dutifully brought him meals and stayed for hours at his bedside.  When I was home, I traveled on Ebay.  Or my fingers traveled.  I was depressed and anxious and Ebay was shopping therapy.  I discovered "Make An Offer".  I wanted Sapphires from India.  I found what I wanted and gave reasonable, but low, offers.  Very often, the vendors agreed and I bought myself earrings, a ring, and a pendant.  Nothing was big or over $75. 

  Eventually, I had all the jewelry I wanted and turned to shoes.  Suddenly--not really suddenly--all the leather shoes were over $100.  I always bought the expensive brands on clearance, often in unpopular colors.  I keep my shoes for over 20 years and those green and purple ones got plenty of wear.  The old ones have started to fall apart.  One got dry rot and the soles came away from another.  New Dansko Rieker and Keen  were out of reach.  I looked for the ones women bought that turned out to be too big or small, that never felt comfortable.  I have a secret weapon.  I stretch them until they fit.  I found L'Artist clogs fit me with no stretching and they're so pretty.  I'll do photos.  I hammer thumb tacks into wooden stretchers, so my bunion doesnt get busted.  First, I spray water inside the shoe, then stretch for as long as it takes.  The shoes usually cost me about $40 + S & H, usually $10.

I find the Dansko are narrow.  The Sanita, a little better, but still narrow.  The Rieker shoes are almost okay.  I have pink ones I bought years ago.  I had been buying 8 1/2 for the width, but sometimes felt like clown shoes.  I wear size 8's, but the shoes need a lot of encouragement.  

  My shoes are still stretching under my desk.  My new shoes don't cure lupus.  They don't even touch depression, but I do look and them and feel good.  Harry is improving.  I haven't bought clothes, but I can wear the old dowdy stuff with my new pretty shoes.  

#shoes  #stretchingShoes #BuyingShoes  #GettingExpensiveShoesCheaper  #LovingShoes  #ShoesAndLupus  #TheJoyofShoes  #economizingWithShoes

 

Some of the shoes have stretched and I can wear them!  This past year, my old good shoes began to fall apart.  That's my excuse.  I haven't worn any of the stretched shoes yet because after the medication, my covid is still here.  I'm waiting.  The Allegrias aree so cute and strange looking, heavy as regular clogs, but the "soles" don't come up the the very front or back.  The same size and style L'Artist clogs are smaller.  I'll put their photos in.

 Write to me at fivecatshere@outlook.com  Thanks for looking.

Where and Who Am I?

 In my recent blogs, I forgot to add links.  With the Lupus Brain Burn, I'm surprised I remember anything.  So, I'll put the links here:  #Lupus  #LivingWithLupus  #LupusInRemission  #TalkingWithSpirits  #CommuningWiththeDead  #AnArtistWhoTalkstotheDead  #AnArtistTalks  #FromPhillytoDelaware  #PoliticsFromMyView #LivingandLovingAnimals #RebellingAllMyLife  #Meditating  #DecreasingAnger  #LearningToAcceptOthers  #GettingOldandGainingWisdome  #LearningFromSpirits  #LearningFromMeditation  #LessonsFromSpirit  #EasingUp  #BlockingTheNuts  #DontBotherWithSpiritVampires 

  We're all in this together, even if we don't want to be.

Where's Lupus? In Hiding

  I've always had mild Lupus.  That meant it was even harder to diagnose than the type that kills.  Doctors didn't want to be bothered, didn't believe it was Lupus, and one even called me names.  (Doctors are no different than the rest of us.(  They're nuts too.)  After a very bad year of Lupus in which I had to retire, we moved down to Delaware to live in a big house with a garden.  (I built the garden in the backyard and planted lots of trees in the front too.)  My Lupus went into remission and I felt good.  

  In 2013,  a family in our development began to bully me.   What they did was crazy and horrible.  I responded negatively, provoking them further, and it took me a long time- years of therapy to push them out of my head. Mostly, Lupus did not rear its head.  I wasn't sure sometimes; so much of that experience was traumatic with threats, theft, police calls, attorneys, name-calling, and lies.  I had never experienced anything like it.  I think those people saw ME as a threat and I became, in their heads, dangerous and famous.  I believe they were enraged and afraid.  I a good person trying to effect the world in positive ways, I never saw myself as they did.  I surrounded my house with trees and tall plants.  Why ever those folks interpreted my behavior as scary, they scared me, and the seemingly most prudent thing was to erect a barrier.

  I wasn't always dedicated to doing right.  I was so angry and that anger isn't completely decimated.  My childhood was torturous, as was my adult years.  When I retired at 58--thanks to Lupus--I was born again.  Not in the religious sense, in the spiritual way.  I have always been an atheist, interested mainly in my family history, not religion.  No religious dogma ever made sense to me.  Long before I retired, I began to be slightly psychic.  At one time, I could read people.  My old next-door neighbor's dead aunt came to visit me, as did a guy from the 1600s.  A spirit followed me home from the hospital and frightened me badly.  My very beloved god brother died and let me know he was still with me.  I began to meditate and listen to psychics on YouTube.  I learned from each of them.  I still do.  My grandmother who passed away six years before I was born is with me now.  I've spent time with most of my aunts and uncles and grandparents.  My great grandpa, who came to the USA in 1853 is my friend.  I'm awed reading what I just typed. 

Life spools on surprising us.  If you're reading this and have any feedback, write to me at painterjayne@gmail.com  I'm interested and lonely.  My favorite people are my children and wonderful granddaughters. I would enjoy a couple more friends.  I have a page on FB about talking to the dead.  Lupus did raid my short-term memory.  I need to remind myself of the name of the page.  Nouns are a problem for me.

  

A Very Good Life

  

It's been such a long time since I wrote in my blog.  It's almost three years.  A lot has happened, but I don't want to go through all that except to say we have a new little granddaughter, Lily, who is nineteen months old.  I went to visit two of our granddaughters today.  Juliana is going through a terrible time so she didn't want to deal with anyone and stayed away.  I played with Lily and had a great time.  

My son and DIL have an Au Pair from Brazil now, which should make their lives easier.  Both parents working and one child going to school a half day is a nightmare.  I hardly saw the young woman. She has the weekend off and I didn't need to see her anyway.

I've been drawing again, not painting.  I guess, eventually, I'll paint, but right now, I'm doing mixed media and enjoying it.  I have a couple of watercolors ready for pastels.  I should be using better paper but I like this book and the size.  It's running out, then I'll switch.

In a couple days it will be the final day of elections across the USA. We voted in the beginning.  There is no problem in Delaware.  There is so much I like about Delaware:  the state is run by Democrats, we live in suburbia,  we live in a big house with a garden....Okay, there are gun nuts and bullies in the neighborhood.  I had one try to bully me and his wife made up incredible stories about me.  My way of dealing with that was to put up trees and plants blocking everyone.  I can take a walk and talk with humans I like.  Not seeing angry people helps keep my energy positive and compassionate.  

We live in a working class neighborhood.  There are no doctors or lawyers here, but the houses are big and every house has a good backyard.  We have one of the largest.  That's why I could plant a garden with pathways and trees in the front.  Lots of folks think doctors and lawyers are better neighbors, but I wouldn't know.  I tend not to believe it.  People are crazy.  A lot of doctors vote GOP.  They're making money and don't want to pay for people who might be slackers.  Maybe Philly where I grew up had more middle class folks.  It was almost exclusively Jewish and Jews value education and fairness.  Our traditions (and Torah), demand charity and tolerance.  I am a secular humanist Jew focused on my family history, if I'm focused on religion at all.  It's hard growing up right after the holocaust not to be concerned about Israel and survival of the Jews.  Currently, there is a ressurgance of antisemitism.  People are being murdered. 

 Of course, children in Philadelphia are being killed by other kids just because they happen to be in front of a barrage of bullets.   I'm always aware and upset over them.  It's all craziness and it's being ignored.  As though anything is more important.  I  think not.  I can't understand how anyone can not be totally freaked by children being shot down in the streets every day.

So we live in Delaware, as far away as France, according to my Philly daughter. Our house is full of stuff, just like the old one.  There are new paintings on the walls and work to be done.  It's a very good life.

Please forgive any missplellings.  I used to be great at spelling, but not any more.  It left.  I grew white hair as a substitute.