Saturday, March 31, 2007

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It's been such a long time since I've blogged. Right now, I'm feuding with my son. I've created a monster who listens to no one and thinks he or his fiance know everything. Later...My daughter talked with him and I see what I contributed to the fracas. It's painful for me to have my son angry at me. Then again, I don't want to talk with someone who thinks I do everything wrong. Or who yells at me. The best part of growing up (and retiring) is I don't have to take that shit.

On another front, I'm getting itchy to do my work again. I really haven't drawn or painted since Jerry got sick. Today I worked on my sewing project a little. I'd really like to buy the fabric to make curtains in this room, my workroom. The ones in here are for little girls, old ladies, or a very dressy room.

I still haven't gotten over Jerry's death, but he has come to me. I saw him twice in dreams, the second time he hugged me. I believe we communicate in dreams with those who have left this plane. I've read the veil is thinner in dreams. Anyway, Jerry's hugging me changed my feelings. I understand it was his choice and he didn't mean to hurt me. Previous to his visiting me, in a dream of Harry's, Jerry accompanied Harry to see a new Toyota, but in a Chevy showroom. It seemed odd to Harry but only I knew Jerry had told me if he bought a car, it would be a Chevy. That was a junior message. And right after his death, he went to my friend Nancy telling her he was alright.

My son ranted at me yesterday that I shouldn't compare myself to Jerry. I loved Jerry with all my heart but what Brian said hurt.

Back to "dead" people. Two nights ago, I dreamt I was picking a patient up at a nursing home which turned out to be Perkin's, where I worked for a number of years. The ass't. adm., Mary Alice Dade, supported me through multiple blunders and stupidity. After I left, I could never contact Mary Alice and I missed her. Then two nights ago, there she was, younger and looking gorgeous. We hugged and I told her how much I'd missed her and how glad I was to see her. I saw her mother months ago and had been happy to see her too. I couldn't find obits for either of them, but I'll continue looking.

I feel rotten tonight, but being able to see people on the other side is a gift. It makes me feel good.