Sunday, September 04, 2011

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Talking Back!



Life is strange, good at times, and definitely youth is wasted on the young. Or maybe not. Retirement is truly freedom, release, and a piece of heaven. The only downside is the knowledge that you have maybe twenty years if you're lucky. Good health is the elephant in the room. Without that, a long life is torture. Any life can end with crying in a nursing home to please be allowed to die as a prayer to anyone who will listen, preferably, God.
Knees creak and ache. Sometimes, for some people, everything seems to hurt. For me, unlike most others, lupus has been more a gift than a curse. Maybe it was a curse years ago when I worked, but a short memory is a blessing sometimes.
I hated working; the only thing I liked about working was making money. Painting was never work, but it really didn't pay either. Mom fought authority and guess what I did?! My unspoken goal was to correct ungentleman-like behavior of bosses to their faces. Somehow they were shocked and not appreciative. The suffering or unfairness of their decisions didn't bother them the way it did me. I saw them as evil-doers and corporate climbers willing to get ahead--and help their buddies--any way they could and the public--or their underlings--be damned. Why my ways weren't part of the corporate structure didn't mystify me, but I was always upset when I didn't get promoted or got fired. In the end, I probably lost a couple dollars in my monthly retirement pay. It was worth it.
There was one time I probably was wrong and I'm sorry about that time. I took someone else's tale as truth. Bad idea. The offended administrator truly was clawing her way up and jealous of anyone with integrity combined with education. That meant me especially because I wasn't quiet enough and was working under someone else who was a psycho. The combined effect of that adventure was a promotion to another job that suited me better. It worked out but I wish I had focused on what was obvious about the woman rather than anything else. Lesson learned was only write what you see personally.
What I see now is life unchained. I've escaped city living and the corrupt politics I knew for so many years. I graduated to a beautiful house with a lovely garden in a college town not so far away from my old home. Definitely good riddance and no regrets. My beloved cousin said, "All we have to do is be." I would add and be "good enough". I am, and I'm glad I never kept my mouth shut.

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Thursday, March 31, 2011

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Life Changes

I haven't written for so long, anything not on the internet would have disappeared. I've lately begun to miss and feel as though I needed to write on here. So much has happened and will be happening this year. I haven't changed, but, well, our kids have. They've married and marrying. Harry is getting his knee replaced very soon. Our daughter and her fiance bought a house and moved their menagerie together. The puppy is acting out. Apparently, she's not too happy with her new digs and two extra cats. I can't blame her. She was here with us for a while, with the yard to run in, and being a star, fed hamburger with every meal. So what dog would want to leave that for change and way less tasty food? She's a Catahoula too, and they're bred to hunt and herd; they need to run and work. I suggested saddle bags and errands. Our daughter says her friend tried that and it worked. Good!
I still love being retired, and would probably forget working if I could. I paint usually every day and I'm getting better. I painted while I worked, most often at my desk, in addition to home, but painting in my studio and being able to see the work from my dining room table is best. When Tuesday was here, she laid herself down right outside my easel area in my studio, claiming it for herself as opposed to our cats. That was okay. I miss her, but life is easier without a dog. Really, it's time to paint now.

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