When Life Throws Bricks

 I met, either my angel, or one of them, last night.  I am so thankful.  I did one of the meditations online that was supposed to have the listener meet her guardian angel, or something like that....and I did.  I'll have to draw him/her because a description wouldn't do it.  She/he had wings though.  Maybe she was a fairy, a loving, supportive one.  I am totally amazed by these positive, loving energies around me, and my pop-up issues from literally, seventy years ago.  I assume no one will see this and that's fine.  I can't say all the energy floating around on here is positive.  I wish I could.  We're human and flawed.

Interviewed Janis Joplin just now. One of my special favorites, yes, from yore. Felt wonderful! Did David Crosby a few days ago. Up uP uP tALKING TO SPIRITS HAS ITS DIVIDENDS.

I'm back. Husband of 60 years has kidney failure, stage 4. My fifteen and 1/2 year old German Shepherd mix has cancer. There is more cancer around me than I ever thought possible. He's alive now and so is the dog. Also the 17 year old cat in my lap.

I belong to a psychic group. At first, I was very excited, then the group grew to about 500, mostly women. Unlike me, they're almost all guarded and say nothing. If the host talks, then they answer. Someone actually recommended another "Medium" instead of me or someone else. The one she recommended is a snotty creep. Uptight, waspy, jealous. I couldn't get a reading from any of them, yet I was happy to read anyone for free. I'm too open and honest. People like those, even if they're psychic, are conformist. I have only the one thing in common and it's nothing. Sadly, everything ends like this. I always seem to find a group or a person I like, only to find down the road, that they're shit. Not for me. I'm so disappointed, hurt, and angry. I am such a good compassionate person, a loving person, and they don't have any idea where I'm coming from. My story. I haven't been appreciated. I'm tremendously angry, but anger is not what I want. It's really hurt. Those women are afraid. They've never been in long-term therapy. Shadow selves? They just don't know. They look at the academic stuff around finding oneself. That's not how to find it. I found it. I appreciate myself. It wouldn't matter if they did, although I'd feel better. I am a whole person and they aren't. I'm not perfect and fI still have issues, but I am. I really am. Jerry said, "All you have to do is be". I do, Jer. I am. It's a surprise to see how much more I understand about being a human. I learned it while trying to get calm (which I'm not yet). I need to learn to shut up when I'm with toxic folks. It's still a problem. And coping with being left out. Even from stuff I wouldn't want to be in. Oh, issues. We all have them and we take them into death (of our meat bodies).

I really do not want to be angry at those women. They're doing their best. I was given an incredible gift of psychotherapy for 50 years.
I interview spirits and talk about how to keep enjoying life when life throws bricks at you.